Daisy in the Fringe

Dear Diary

I don’t understand men at all. I mean, here’s Posca, who sent me flowers and stuff after our first date, but never sent nothing at all after he got to kiss me on our second. I thought he’d like it, and he sure seemed to when it was happening, but then he never even said goodbye. Something’s just not right there.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I liked him all that much. I really just let him kiss me cause I wondered what it would be like and cause he seemed to want to so much. And it was okay, I suppose, but nothing to write home about. (Yeah, like I’d write home to Momma about that, even if it was the best thing ever!)

But, well, I thought he’d at least send a note or come by to say hey or something. Instead, not a word. I just keep racking my brain to figure out what I did wrong. Or didn’t do right. Or something.

Did he not like me, once he got to kiss me? Momma always said boys don’t respect girls who are too easy – was I too easy, letting him get me alone like that? Or was he upset because I only let him kiss me a little, and didn’t let him stick his tongue in my mouth or anything? Or was I just a bad kisser? Maybe my lips aren’t soft enough, or my breath was bad, or I wasn’t clean enough, or something.

I just wish I knew what it was, cause I wouldn’t want to make the same mistake again, even though I’m done with fellers. That there Phoebus was cute, but he only wanted one thing and it weren’t anything I wanted to give him. And Posca was nice enough at first, but then he just seemed to forget all about me, which isn’t nice at all. And I don’t got any idea what’s up with Jugotai-sama. He seemed to like me well enough, but he never did anything much at all really, and I doubt I could figure out what he was thinking anyway.

It’ll be nice to be back on a horse again. I’m gonna try to get a big sweet looking brown one. I’ll pet it and give it treats and it won’t be half so confounding as a feller. Dusty says she’d rather have a horse than a boyfriend, because people don’t think nothing of it if sometimes you have to give a horse a touch of the crop. After meeting them three fellers up on the Minerva, I’m coming around to that way of thinking myself.

Dear Diary,

What do you think? I speak Nihonese now. They hooked me up to this sleep teacher, gave me some medicines that kept me asleep for about a whole day, and now I can understand Nihonese. Of course, I ain’t had a chance to use my new knowledge yet, cause the Daughter of Heaven and her folk all left the ship yesterday and there’s nobody to talk Nihonese to me cept Dusty and there ain’t no reason to use it to talk to her. Oh well, I still hope we’ll get to go to Nihon sometime, and I spect it will be useful to know how the locals talk.

We’re back down on the planet now, and our long stay on the Minerva is over. It sure was an interesting trip. But I reckon that I’ve got a lot of thinking to do on all that happened.

We’re going to do some shopping soon. Guns and such mostly, I’m sorry to say. But we may get to get something nice too.

And oh, we got an awfully big reward for saving Tacita. I ain’t never had so much money in my life – I got about a thousand denarii or so after sending off a bunch to momma. I’m not sure what I’ll do with all that money. Dusty says I got enough for a dowry, but now I’m not sure that’s what I want. Guys are awfully confusing, and I don’t know if I want to marry one or not. But that’s part of the thinking I’ve got to do.

Dear Diary,

Nihon swords are fun. We all went down to this training area and Jugotai-sama showed us how he uses one of their swords. Then he let me try out this wooden training sword. I figured out how to use it quick enough and beat up a straw dummy. I sure did like doing that.

The rest of the day was pretty boring. I did some sewing, and then the Daughter of Heaven and all her folks came to dinner. None of it was all that interesting.

And oh – Posca never did come by to say hi or anything. I guess he’ll do that tomorrow.  I don’t know what I think about that.  I mean, he was nice enough and all, but I don’t know if I want to go on another date with him.  Oh well, I’ll figure out what to do when the time comes.